Gather the Girls for a Fun & Cheeky Night Out

As a massive fan of Sex and the City I am quite familiar with the episode that Charlotte drags the gals along to some strange couple’s apartment for a tantric sex class. Charlotte believes that attending a tutorial about pleasuring a man will help her in her quest to find a husband. Although the SATC gals thought it would be a waste of time they were enthralled and ahem, surprised by the content, so I signed up but made a mental note from Miranda’s experience to not bother washing my hair before I went....

I showed a few of my single girlfriends the class details beforehand and their responses indicated that most of them would be more willing to accompany me on the croc jetskiing than the c@ck class! But my friend Ms.H who is also a ‘up for adventure ‘type was all ‘hells yeah’, so I booked us both into the class in Sydney on a Saturday afternoon in June.

The class is held in Woo’s head office and although upon arrival from the outside it looks like the type of place where you’d reach an untimely demise, inside it’s nice and bright and all of the essentials for any girly night are present. Everyone is given a glass of bubbles, there is cheese and chocolate and we are about to talk about sex for the next 90 mins or so. Sounds good to me!

There are eight students and two instructors, Myola Woods who is wearing a 'Certified Sex Geek' shirt so we must be in good hands and Michaeli Gwilliam. We all sit around a big table and are asked why we have come to the class as an icebreaker exercise. My primary reason was for shits and giggles, but it wouldn't hurt to pick up some new tips right?

We are broken up into two groups and asked to write down what we like and dislike about hand jobs. So, just in case you were wondering, if you're just a little bit shy or prudish, I wouldn't recommend this class for you ok.

The topic (and the bubbles) result in lots of boisterous laughter and although it was only a small group, there were certainly a lot of different opinions!

I can’t help but wonder if many guys actually receive hand jobs as the girls around the table all seem to think it’s a nice appetiser, but never the main event. There are also comments that because it’s something that a guy can do himself (and likely does often), we’d probably not do it as well, so we like to focus on things we know he can’t do himself.

We move on and are given a handout....with diagrams! But really, for a hand job class you've got to get hands on right?! We are presented with a table of various jelly dongs and are asked to pick one to use as a prop. Note it would be frowned upon if you BYO’d your own real living and breathing prop....

Ms.H is a fan of pink and immediately grabs the hot pink one. I'm one of the last of the group to pick and take the black one, which based on stereotypical pop culture I would have thought would have been the most popular! When we unpack our dongs and compare them there is definitely some penis envy happening around the table.  There are two ummm, particularly petite dongs, and we all have a good giggle suggesting that they likely have great personalities....

Myola points out some anatomical features of the penis on a more 'realistic' dong, as realistic as a cock suction cupped to a table in a converted warehouse in Surry Hills with eight women watching on can be. We are then taken through some techniques with names such as the Mr Sheen, the Corkscrew and the Firestarter and are encouraged to apply them to our own dongs for practice. 

I’m not the camping or outdoorsy kind of girl, but I’ve always imagined to start a fire you would need dry sticks. Apparently the Firestarter is far more effective with a wet stick, so Michaeli moves around the table distributing lube to our out-stretched hands. Honestly, you probably had to be there, as it didn't seem as weird in person as it sounds writing that…

The class wraps up and Michaeli offers everyone baby wipes to clean up our lubey hands (she surely must be the most valuable player at an orgy...) and we pack up our jelly friends. The group has bonded over our shared hand job experience and there is discussion of continuing on together afterwards, but Ms.H and I already have plans and head off out on the town to look for future contenders to experience our new skills. 

We both had the Prodigy Firestarter song stuck in our heads for about a week after the class, but we had a heap of fun and definitely learned some new moves. Woo! is running a Pussy Play workshop on August 5th for men to hone their techniques with the ladies. I can’t help but wonder if it will involve as much giggling as the ladies class and if there will be a pink glittery pussy prop that gets picked first....